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Heading off to New Hampshuh…

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This week’s blog post is early and short because I’m going off this weekend to meet up with an old friend who lives in Manchester. We’re going to stay in Peterborough, the town I (very loosely) based Lawson on. I haven’t seen my friend in a year and a half and instead of being together with our families, we’ll be on our own, just the way we were when we met almost twenty years ago.

Back then, we were each teaching for the first time — on either side of a completely ineffective temporary room barrier in the basement of Coe-Brown Northwood Academy. I had the tenth grade and she had the eleventh grade. We could each hear everything that was said in the other room, so we couldn’t help but get to know each other well.

Today she’s a high school guidance counselor. I left New Hampshire for New York (for a guy, though not the one I married) and ended up in educational publishing and advertising for many years before making my way back to teaching, sort of (I’m an adjunct).

Despite living quite some distance apart, my friend and I have gotten together almost every summer of our lives ever since, usually at her family’s summer home in Maine. One summer I took off to go to Scotland with my Scottish father and my Scottish-Puerto Rican son. She took this one off to cope with her mother, who died this fall.

It will be nice to catch up, because although we are very good friends, there’s very little conversation between our yearly meet-ups. We just save it all up for when we get together.

I can’t wait! We plan to eat well, hang out at the Toadstool Bookshop (which I already know is a lot bigger than it was when I lived there), check out the sights, and — if I know us — try to find at least one thrift store. Who knows, we might even get a meal at the diner, if we can get in. (I’m sure the good people of Lawson would approve.)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/Peterboro_Diner,_Peterborough_NH.jpg(Photo from wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons)

 

Practical tips for enjoying the cold

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I figured I’d offer something a little more practical this week. We’ll say it’s related to my books tangentially – so far they’re all set in New England, after all, and winter is most certainly coming in. (Also, all the houses in The Awful Mess are old and drafty.)

I had to learn all these techniques the hard way. I grew up in Florida, and that move to Massachusetts the week of Christmas 1976 just about killed me. I did not acclimate cheerfully. It took years, but at some point I actually began to appreciate winter. Here are some reasons why.

Reason #1: I acquired some key wardrobe items.

  1. ANGORA BLEND SOCKS.  Ah, bliss. I’ve found these wool-blend socks at TJ Maxx and Marshalls and online. They’re not the big heavy ones you buy in hiking stores, and they fit into regular shoes. I’m sensitive to wool and can usually never wear it next to my skin, but these blends don’t bother my feet, though I sometimes do pull them up my arm to make sure they won’t scratch too much before I invest. They’re not cheap (unless you manage to find them on clearance), but they usually last for years. I wash them in the washing machine with the other clothes, but hang them to dry. (Most survive drying just fine, though, as I’ve discovered by accident.) Don’t over-stuff your shoes, either. I got frostbite during my junior year abroad in the UK — which doesn’t even get that cold — because I over-stuffed warm socks in hiking boots that were probably too small. Remember: blood circulation is our friend.
  2. POLYESTER FLEECE.  I adore it on cold days, but it’s so warming I like to wear fleece I can easily take off in a classroom, like jackets and big shirts. One hazard: It melts, so I have to watch out for sparks from the fire or wood stove. At the thrift store/food pantry where I volunteer I keep my eye out for the rare work-acceptable fleece that doesn’t already have holes from wood stoves in it. Fleece can be washed in the machine and dries almost immediately, so I hang it instead of throwing it in the dryer. At home, once I’m in for the day, I usually change into fleece sweat pants and a fleece jacket. (We usually keep our thermostat at 65 degrees, so I need that for sitting at the computer.) Fleece throws are cozy to have around, too.
  3. BOILED WOOL. Same deal as fleece except for cleaning (don’t ever put one in the dryer, and even the washing machine is a risk.) They won’t melt from sparks, though they can get charred. They tend to look a little more professional and don’t get too hot as quickly as fleece does. They also don’t attract dirt as quickly as man-made fabrics like fleece do, so you can often get away with dry-cleaning only once or twice a season.
  4. LONG UNDERWEAR. When it’s really bone-chillingly cold (wind chills below zero), or I expect to be outdoors for a while, I add an under layer of silk or polypropylene. The trick is having layers and not letting anything next to your skin get wet and clammy. I buy all of mine in the thrift store, but L.L. Bean is a good source at full retail. I even have long underwear for my feet — thin silk or polypropylene sock liners.

Reason #2: I indulge in certain key creature comforts.

  1.  A PREHEATED BED. I fill a fairly long, old, tightly woven cotton sock with uncooked rice, tie a knot, and heat it in the microwave (usually about 2-1/2 minutes, but you’ll want to watch and feel carefully to figure out what’s safe for your microwave — it can burn and even burst into flames at too long a setting). Then I roll it up in an old flannel receiving blanket and stuff it in the bed while I’m brushing my teeth. It’s also good for warming up cold toes, or draping over a sore muscle. Usually I can reheat the same sock of whole grains all winter. (I used to use hot water bottles, but these days it seems they are all made in China and inevitably develop leaks. Wet beds are not warm.) By the way, I tried adding dried lavender to the rice once. Yuck! Maybe I just don’t like lavender enough, or maybe cooked lavender is obnoxious.
  2. LAYERS ON THE BED. I can’t use goose-down duvets – they’ve always made me sweat. (And these days, a lot of things can make me sweat.) So I layer fleece blankets and quilts on the bed to throw off (and pull back on) as needed.
  3. BABY OIL IN THE SHOWER. I do way too much thinking and luxuriating in the hot shower, and in winter this means my skin gets itchy and dry. I smooth baby oil on wet skin before I even towel off. It makes a huge difference.
  4. HOT DRINKS. I can’t have caffeine at night, but the herbal teas get a lot of use on cold, dark winter nights. If I could, I’d drink coffee. On cold weekend days, we also indulge in the occasional hot cocoa treat. (No packets! I like to melt Abuelita or Chocolate Cortes tablets in a little water in a double boiler and then add milk. Use whole milk or add some cream. Sometimes I put a little chili powder or hot sauce in the chocolate and stir before I add the milk. If you have a way to whisk it in, all the better. Mmm.)
  5. MODERATE HEAT. Unless we’re depending on it for the cost savings or suffering through one of our (fairly common) power outages, we only use the wood stove when it’s REALLY cold. That way we won’t dry out our nasal passages or our houseplants, and the rooms away from the stove won’t feel uncomfortably cold.

Reason #3. I made friends with winter.

This was not easy for me. I used to fantasize about Florida all through the winters in New England. I missed everything from the beach to the mostly-green grass and gardens to the already-tepid water coming from the tap. (Though, truth be told, cold fronts can come through and feel pretty darn cold in the Tampa area too, at times.) Here’s how I think I finally turned the corner and started to enjoy winter.

  1. I LEARNED TO SKI. I am awful at downhill, but being able to cross-country ski makes snow something I look forward to. I can go out the door and ski around the yard, or around the park across the street, or around lots of other places (groomed trails are nice, but not necessary to get out and have fun). This makes a good snowfall something I anticipate with pleasure. One of these days I want to take up snow-shoeing as well. One big plus with winter sports: no bugs.
  2. WE GOT SNOW TUBES after we bought a house with a little hill in front. Officially this was for my son and his friends, but who says adults can’t enjoy an hour of tubing just as much as kids do? Tubes are much more forgiving of conditions than sleds, and also less likely to cause bodily harm (although we sometimes have to bail out to avoid trees).
  3. I STOPPED PINING. If you hate winter, avoid palm trees or beaches as screen savers — unless you’ll be there in the next week or two. Don’t torture yourself. Try to appreciate the beauty around you instead. After I got over my outrage at being transplanted from Florida to New England — granted, this took years — I finally began to appreciate the sheer beauty of the colder months. For example, yesterday I took a little hike to a local waterfall with a friend and got to see some woods along the way in a completely different way because most of the leaves are down. If I’d only gone up there during warm weather, I’d never have been able to see the dramatic terrain, or the contrast of a few remaining yellow leaves against all those grey tree trunks.

043The only other thing I would add is to consider supplementing your Vitamin D. (It made a big difference for me recently.) Here’s wishing you the best winter possible — as warm, dry, well-fed, and happy as you can manage. If you have other tips for surviving the season, feel free to share them!

 

 

Traditional and indie

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Ah, traditional publishers.

Indie authors tend to get irate at them. Formerly well-published traditional authors tend to get irate at them. Formerly well-employed publishing professionals like me sometimes like to get irate at them.

And sure, there are reasons for indies to feel superior to the big six. Traditional publishing houses must chase revenue and profit targets for their corporations.

This can result in a lot of trend following, the egregious milking of cash cows, and committee-itis — a reluctance to try new things, or to try them and then drop them too quickly if they don’t show signs of paying off soon.

On the plus side, though, they have to chase revenue and profit targets.

I’m serious. That can be a good thing. Because, to get to that point, traditional publishers have developed a track record in the market. Their divisions — if they are well managed — have deep experience in acquiring and selling books. They try very hard not to waste a lot of time and money.

A caption-less cartoon from The Independent Publishing Magazine.

This is something an indie author should think carefully about, because the time and money an indie author might waste is her own.

(Besides, indies do plenty of egregious cash-cow milking and trend following, too. Have you noticed that suddenly everything that possibly can be has been turned into a series? Have you noticed all the titles suddenly having Amazon-friendly key words added to them, like The Dingo Ate My Baby: A Cozy Novel of Romantic Suspense?)

I’ve been thinking about all this during the last exhausting week of my life as an indie author and publisher and budding (wilting?) playwright.

Because writing and publishing is not my day job.

My day job is teaching four composition courses as an adjunct professor. My composition courses are pretty heavy on writing. (How else can people learn to write?) I enjoy it, even though the pay is terrible and there is zero job security and no benefits to speak of. I just love teaching college-age students. What is better than helping students find their voices?

But that doesn’t mean I love grading four Composition I classes all in one week because midterm grades are due. (Even full-time professors will confess to all sorts of procrastination when faced with a stack of papers to grade. Apparently it’s the prime time to clean the house.)

This was also the week my short play Nude with Bearded Irises got its premiere along with six other shorts as part of the Sand Lake Center for the Arts/Circle Theater Players second original one act play festival. Surely a little basking in glory was called for?

However, I was so busy grading I could only go see two of the shows, and couldn’t even hang around for the cast party.

I saw one early show for a senior home, which was a very small but appreciative audience. On the last day of the run I had the pleasure of seeing a full house, and seeing how a production that had started out strong had gotten even stronger. I got to see people laughing in all the right places, and my play placed in the prizes, which is very nice for a first time playwright.

But after the first act I had to sneak out so I could go home and stay up into the night doing more grading.

And that’s just going to be the deal for the foreseeable future. Teaching pays bills and also allows me flexibility that a full-time job wouldn’t. People are sometimes surprised by this, but writing really doesn’t pay, not unless you’re one of the lucky ones (this is true even of traditionally published authors). I’m still in the hole and don’t expect to get out of it any time soon.

In fact, I really don’t want to calculate my own bottom line (like Rachel Thompson recently did), although doing my taxes will no doubt force me to do it.

But publishing is a business, and businesses require investment. For indie authors, that’s their own hard-earned money. How much can they realistically expect to make back? For most, it will be nothing. I’ve already beaten the odds in some ways — at least partly because I was willing to invest in advertising. So I’m feeling optimistic, but not enough to pour my savings indiscriminately into this enterprise.

The deal I have with myself is that If I save money in another part of the budget, then I can spend it on this. In fact, we plan to sell this lovely house and live much more simply so that I can focus more on writing and less on making the mortgage, and seriously try to make a go of this. (Or, at least, not lose any major ground in the process of trying — and it’s time for us to simplify, anyway.)

Real publishers cut costs where they can, too, of course. Sometimes quite brutally…

But there’s nothing like trying something yourself for a while to build up a little respect for the real professionals. So here’s to traditional publishing: Here’s to having people who get to work all day at publishing, and get to draw on expertise all over the building.

Long may they prosper.

And, in four or five years, maybe I will, too.

 

 

 

 

Stories as low-tech GPS

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Between kind reviews given freely and lots of other favors, I’ve been the object of quite a bit of charity lately. My heroine Mary in The Awful Mess: A Love Story is not at all graceful at accepting help from others, but she’s gotten better at it by the end of the novel.

Which is good. Because we all need help sometimes.

I got some this week from Jenny Milchman, the talented and persistent author of the debut suspense novel Cover of Snow. She featured me in one of her “Made It Moment” blog posts this weekend (at http://www.jennymilchman.com/blog/2013/09/27/made-it-moment-sandra-hutchison/comment-page-1/#comment-163660.) Fellow indie author Lisa Arrington did this for me, too, earlier this month.

It’s been really nice hearing back from some other authors who also devote a portion of their book earnings to good causes. But I also believe that most people who read and write fiction find ways to help others, somehow … if only because reading fiction builds empathy for others (while also providing some of the health advantages of feeling part of a social group).

I was reading a book yesterday (okay, skimming it — it was overdue at the library!) called Wired for Story that uses pop neurology to review the rules of good fiction writing. And one of the rules was that a protagonist’s life has to get messed up — by the protagonist.  And then it needs to keep getting even more messed up before any resolution is reached. And that is indeed the basic plot of just about any good novel you pick up.

Audrey Hepburn, 'Perils of Pauline' - Imgur

Audrey Hepburn, ‘Perils of Pauline’ – Imgur

Don’t you wish you could just jump into the book and save your favorite characters? You want to shake them when they’re being stupid, tell them not to go through that door, beg them not to trust that shady character, suggest they finally bare their hearts instead of hiding their feelings … whatever it is that’s keeping them from happiness. You also want to reassure them when they’re at their lowest that it will all work out in the end.

Of course, in some books it doesn’t all work out in the end, and I find that those cautionary tales often stay with me the longest — House of Mirth kept me up for hours just brooding about how it had ended.1984 was another one. If I’m remembering correctly, Wired for Story said that’s part of why we humans share stories, too: we’re teaching each other how to avoid disaster … literally, we’re teaching each other how to survive.

In other words, literature is a kind of high-level mutual GPS that we developed centuries before we got any satellites into the atmosphere.

(Of course, sometimes even a high-tech GPS can lead you wrong. And I wouldn’t suggest you read Fifty Shades of Grey for relationship advice.)

Anyway, it’s all food for thought on a day when we’re coming to the end of Hunger Action Month. I have in no way made enough in royalties to reach my goal of $1,000 for Feeding America. (Talk about sheer hubris!) I haven’t even made enough to cover my advertising costs. However, the $100 I put in at the beginning will do for now, and I’ll keep adding 10% month by month (plus whatever I have to add in order to not be embarrassed). So one of these decades it will get there.

I think about this failure as I consider that I was included in a “Made It Moment” when I so obviously haven’t yet made it as an author. But that was Jenny helping me, as she has helped so many other authors, and as others have helped her. Sometimes we just need to accept that hand up, and then remember to pay it forward.

Safe travels!

 

 
 

Even an interim existence has its charms

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My book’s in an odd, interim-feeling spot right now, and so am I.

Technically, I should be promoting the hell out of the book while it’s 99 cents and all profits are still going to Feeding America. However, because I had to postpone an advertising deal with a major advertiser until early next month, pushing it now might just annoy the people who would realize they could have gotten it free for my last two “free” days then. So … I’m not pushing much.

I might try some minor promotions once it’s back to a regular price. But really, my main focus right now has to be on preparing a paperback edition and getting the next book out.

Also, there’s work. And life. Which is also in an interim stage, since we’re planning a move.

I took some quality time out of grading and writing and decluttering this weekend to enjoy the fine fall weather. We live in a lovely part of the country — Rensselaer County, New York, between Albany and the Massachusetts border. After living in the crowded suburbs of New York City, life up here in our very pretty house surrounded by trees and hills still feels like some sort of vacation to me.

At least , it does when I’m not hauling gravel to shore up the driveway. Or trying to play lumberjack. Or checking for ticks.

Nice as our current home is, we’ve realized that a cozy, affordable little house simply makes more sense at this point in our lives. And I’ll admit to fantasizing about a smaller, sunnier, more level garden that no deer would ever think of browsing.

And that is more or less the plan for next year, actually, though I’ll be a little surprised if deer can really be excluded from wherever we land. For today, though, I was happy simply to appreciate the local neighborhood scenery.

Here, maybe you can enjoy some of it with me.

Crystal Lake 031 052 056 077 Happy Fall!

Lessons from a garage sale

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Saturday my town held a town-wide garage sale. We participated, since we once again expect to put the house on the market this spring. (That’s a story for another time.)

Photo: Garage Sale Day

Saturday dawned damp and chilly and it occurred to me too late that we could have made a lot more money selling hot cocoa. We did manage to make almost a hundred bucks, though. More importantly, we cleared out a lot of stuff, including a weight bench and weights nobody wanted to have to drag back into the house.

Just before noon my next-door neighbor Chris brought her toddler granddaughter over to say hi and do a little shopping. After checking on our cats up in the house (always a high priority), Lily made it her mission to make sure the scant supply of toy cars and trucks on offer was successfully sold.

In fact, she didn’t want to leave until the very last one was gone. Every person who walked up our driveway she immediately accosted with, “Wouldn’t you like to buy a truck?”

Under that uniquely adorable sales pressure, quite a number of shoppers happily shelled out the required 25 cents, even those who really didn’t need a toy at all. Finally there was only one little truck left, and her grandmother and I agreed it would make an excellent present for her older brother. (Anything to help our ace sales girl and Nana get some lunch!)

Lily put me to shame. In fact, after I saw her in action, I realized I should have had my little postcards for my book out, ready to hand sell to anyone who looked interested in the books we were selling used.

So I went and got them and handed them to a couple of folks who were clearly readers. This may not have resulted in any sales, but the conversations were fun.

Now, I suspect that darling toddlers can get away with more salesmanship than middle-aged authors. Some of my friends are no doubt getting weary of my marketing at this point, though a few will even pitch in, bless them.

But there were other lessons, too. One is that when you really want to get rid of stuff, you price it lower or just give it away. A lot of our crap just disappeared from the end of the driveway in our free pile, even that rusty outdoor table and umbrella set.

Oddly enough, after I took down the “garage sale” sign and piled free stuff at the end of our (long) driveway and started putting other stuff away, we suddenly got more customers than before. And they were actually buying.

Maybe the weather had just improved, or maybe advertising isn’t as straightforward as you’d think. Did the pile suggest there was a lot more available down the driveway? Did it suggest the prices would be good? I don’t know. All I know is that it seemed to make a big difference.

A lot of successful self-published authors say the number one thing they had to do – other than writing good books and making sure they looked professional – was get to a critical mass of published titles. Once they achieved that, one title could sell the others. Sometimes putting one free for a while was the best way to goose sales for the others.

But a free solo title can’t sell anything unless it really goes viral, which clearly hasn’t happened to my book at this point. Otherwise, once it’s been given away, there’s nothing to sell. (I certainly could have tried harder to get a mailing list out of it, though — oh well.)

Giving my book away free earlier this month wasn’t a total bust. I netted seven lovely new Amazon reviews from strangers (okay, make that eight lovely ones and one moderately cranky one — and this figure may change regularly) — plus a tiny little burst of sales. I also had some fun conversations. Hopefully more reviews will come, and sales will be at least slightly better than they were before.

But I won’t be feeding as many Americans as I’d hoped. Unless something radical changes, Feeding America is going to have to make do with the $100 bucks I put in when I started this month’s campaign. Hopefully it will grow over time when I add their 10% each month. But I now doubt that will happen in any way that is the least bit impressive until I hit that critical mass of titles.

Then, with any luck, the books can sell each other. Because selling on Amazon when you’re nobody is sort of like having a garage sale at the end of a long, heavily-treed driveway. Sometimes you just have to put out that pile of free stuff to get some buyers to come down and check it out.

So I need more books up. Now if I can just figure out how to fit all this in with the four comp classes, a garden full of produce that needs preserving, and a house that needs to be readied for sale, I’ll be all set.

If you’re interested, here’s my September postcard (I’m mostly proud of finally figuring out what the heck QR codes are and how to use them!):

postcard330resfrontAnd the back (hurriedly revised after my free days appeared to be going kerplooey):

AwfulMesspostcardbwHungerSeptember

Learn from my newbie mistakes in self publishing

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Or don’t. Sometimes you just have to make your own mistakes. But in case you might want to avoid a few…here are some of mine, transformed into words to the wise.

1. Don’t publish before you’ve established a platform.

I didn’t start blogging, tweeting, Facebooking, or Goodreading as an author until I published my book. While this is a fairly unforgivable lapse with a new traditionally-published book (which is likely to disappear along with your writing career if it doesn’t sell in its first season out), you’ll just have to play catch-up if you’ve published it yourself. Self-publishing is very forgiving of this particular newbie mistake. (Yay.)

I also didn’t start because I couldn’t imagine what the heck I would blog about before my book was published. Most novelists seem to end up blogging about writing or writers or books or their genre, or something that might conceivably be of interest to their future readers. It seemed to me there was a glut of that already available. So I waited until, well, I really had to do it.

Newbie mistake, but in my case I think it was fairly unavoidable unless I could come up with some niche I could become an expert in that was related to my fiction. And, frankly, I’m all over the place in my interests, and I’m still not really ready to be pinned down.

At least now my mistakes are providing plenty of material.

2. Don’t get demoralized by your rankings.

If you made the first newbie mistake, you’re likely to see your book rank somewhere in the tens of thousands in the first rush of family and friends (this is at Amazon – other retail sites may have smaller numbers to begin with). This first rush is never as big as you thought it would be based on what people told you to your face. (Shocking, I know!)

After that, you’ll be mired down in the hundred thousandths somewhere. And no one will ever see your book again unless you somehow point it out to them.  That’s just the deal.  Don’t brood about it. Start marketing, or focus on the next book — for which you will finally have a platform. Ideally, do both.

Pssst … need a pick-me-up even more than you need sales? One thing that makes me feel good, even though it’s utterly useless as a marketing tool, is having “Episcopal” as one of my precious seven keywords. This is a tiny category and that means it’s easy to float to the top of the first page with a search term like “Episcopal fiction” when I’m selling anything at all. It means I’m actually keeping company with favorite authors like Gail Godwin and Julia Spencer Fleming! It won’t do my sales a damned bit of good – might even hurt them, as opposed to a more popular keyword – but it has helped my morale immeasurably. In this gig, you take whatever little victories you can!

3. Don’t assume all your friends and family will rush to review it.

They just won’t, just as real readers generally only include a tiny percentage of reviewers. Most people are not comfortable reviewing, especially if they feel they can’t say anything negative at all because they know you. Some people are particularly uncomfortable about it specifically because they DO know you (you can help with both of these by assuring them that you really don’t mind a four-star review or a disclaimer about your relationship – assuming you really mean that, and won’t sulk about it – and be honest with yourself, or you’re not being fair to them).

The reviews you do get may not help in exactly the way you had envisioned. Get over it. Realize that you are blessed by ANY positive review. A lot of mine mention beach reading, which was great in June. Now it’s September. This just means I need to get more reviews.

4. Go out and beat the bushes for impartial reviews from thorough reviewers.

You’re self-published. This is your job. Traditional book reviewers are not going to waste their time on you unless you become a phenomenon, nor should they. Maybe your local paper will take on the local interest angle, but consider yourself lucky if that happens. Kirkus and PW and so forth will happily take your money, and maybe you’ll be one of the rare self-published souls to earn a starred review or some recognition. However, they often don’t star even my all-time favorite traditionally-published books, so I don’t like my chances.

That doesn’t mean you can’t get reviews. There are dozens of groups and web sites and blogs where you can request reviews on Facebook. I think it may be more effective, though, to trawl among the reviewers on Amazon and Goodreads, especially people who have written interesting, thorough reviews of books you love (or hate the same way they do). Not counting my friend Nandini, who compared my book to Charlotte Bronte’s (swoon!), the person who gave me my favorite review so far at Goodreads was someone I asked just because I so enjoyed her review of someone else’s book. (She compared my writing to Iris Murdoch’s, which is funny because I’ve picked up lots of Irish Murdoch novels over the years and always decided nah, not right now. Guess I’d better try again.)

By the way, avoid “trading” reviews. How can you be certain you’ll like the other author’s book? There’s a reason self-published “five-star” books are often regarded with suspicion, and it’s because of this organized review trading.

If you have the budget for it, use NetGalley to save yourself a lot of trouble. I’m definitely going that route next time. I didn’t this time around and I’ve done okay, but it was a hard slog. (Also, next time I expect my book to be a bit controversial, so I’m going to need a higher volume of reviews to make up for the people who hate it.)

Hopefully, Amazon will allow pre-ordering for indie publishers one of these days, since that makes all the difference as you gather pre-publication reviews. If they don’t by the time I publish another title, I may go with Smashwords first.

5. Don’t fail to read all the fine print. Then read it again and imagine the worst case scenario.

This applies in all your dealings with giant impersonal commercial entities that shall not be named. Don’t expect flexibility, kindness, humanity, or clear answers that don’t simply repeat the boilerplate language you already tried to parse the first time around and got wrong. Just know that even if there’s a possibility you made an honest mistake, there will probably be no mercy shown.

Try to get a clear answer before you do anything if only to document that you didn’t get a clear answer, not that it will matter. You could still get squashed by a giant foot at the worst possible time. If so, forgive yourself for getting it wrong, apologize to anyone who deserves an apology, and move on.

6. Keep track of every single marketing effort.

Did you submit your book to this web site or that Facebook page? When? Do you need to notify them because you changed a price or did something else that changed the deal? (Perhaps a giant foot suddenly came down and squashed you?) How do you contact them?

Put together a spreadsheet and take careful notes. You think you’ll remember, or you’ll find it in your sent mail, but you might not, especially when you’re in the panicked state of having-just-been-squashed-by-a-giant-foot.

7. Don’t freak out because you didn’t take advantage of some amazing strategy!

The internet and the bookstores are full of advice about all the various opportunities self-published authors are failing to take advantage of every day. Things you didn’t put in your book. Things you didn’t put on your web site.  Things you didn’t put on your cover, or stupidly DID put on your cover. Your purchase of this versus your purchase of that. Failure to network here or friend there. The keyword strategy that would have immediately shot you to the top of the bestseller’s list! The hot new SEO program that would have guaranteed you a thousand new sales in one week! Passive income that pours in without you lifting a finger!

Does something sound like it might be worth trying without requiring a big investment? Okay, so take a deep breath, think about it, maybe try it out. Just test it, if you can. One thing at a time. If you can figure out how, try doing an A/B split (test one version versus another). Try the winner with different slices of the audiences. When you find something that clearly works, roll it out, but keep testing. That is the simple secret of all direct marketing success in the real world. Traditional authors can do this with their own marketing efforts, but they don’t get to play with price or change covers or copy at will. Indie authors can do whatever they want, within reason. (Better keep good records, though, so you can figure out what it means when you’re done. And watch out for those giant feet!)

Is something ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED TO WORK? That’s a huckster claim made by someone who understands effective (if not entirely legal) copywriting. Even if there might be a few kernels of truth being offered, never lay out good money for “guaranteed” riches and you will avoid a lot of pain in this world. On the other hand, sensible advertising for which you can see results may be necessary if you want your book to succeed. Start small and test to see if it works. Do the math and see if it really works in a sustainable way, unless you have money to burn.

I got to see first-hand in my first free promotion what a difference it made to do some modest advertising, because most of it didn’t kick in for awhile: it made a huge difference. Whether that will pay off in actual sales down the road is another question. I have already gained new reviews, so I consider that a win of some kind.

8. Don’t stop writing.

Actually, I’m making this mistake right now, but I knew that would happen when I signed up to teach four classes instead of two this semester. Sometimes financial reality trumps writing time. But a nice cold winter without any garden to care for and the usual reduction in courses that comes  with spring semester may mean more free time. I’ll catch up then by setting ambitious deadlines for myself. I have to, or I’ll pay a hefty price for this inactivity.

If you believe in your work, you have to find a way to keep doing it. That’s why you’re going through all this hassle in the first place, right? That’s the most basic rule of all. (Not that it’s anyone’s business but your own, really.)

9. Don’t make it ALL about your writing.

Those four classes I’m teaching also happen to be the balm of my existence right now. My friends have been so kind, but it’s actually when I’m teaching that I completely forget about any giant feet that might have recently come down to squash me. I get to just focus on my students as writers and forget about myself as one.

Find something that allows you to focus completely on someone other than yourself for at least some part of the day. It’s just good for you.

Do you have any advice to share from your own newbie mistakes?

FREE AT LAST Sept. 4-5-6!

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For Sept. 4-5-6, at least, The Awful Mess: A Love Story is FREE at Amazon. I’ve managed to get back into the clear with them, knock wood.

After that it’s back to 99 cents for September and all earnings for the month to Feeding America.

My husband had the logical question this morning: “How does making it free raise any money for Feeding America?”

The answer: If it has enough downloads while it’s free, it will show up in searches and rankings afterwards, when people might be willing to pay for it.

So even if you don’t plan to read the Kindle version (or any version), you might want to download it and/or share the news. It’s all about visibility and then hoping enough people like it that it goes viral. That’s really the only way this game works for a debut novel when you’re indie.

So please, share the news if you’re at all comfortable doing that.

I’ll update you about how we did when the month is over. You can also keep track at my virtual campaign page for Feeding America.

Overflowing with plenty

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Every spring I plant a pretty extensive garden, and every fall I go back to the classroom just as it’s hitting its peak harvest. “Why don’t I time these things better?” I always ask myself. But a garden in upstate New York runs by a very specific clock all its own, and the school year stops for no one.

We eat A LOT out of my garden. Usually about now I’m really getting sick of tomatoes (they’re late this year, so it hasn’t happened yet). The eggplant and string beans and peppers and squash go into stir fries or get marinated and grilled. I make and freeze recaito, a delicious Puerto Rican blend of garlic, onions, peppers, tomatoes, and cilantro (my husband is from the island).

If I’m energetic, I also put away some fresh basil pesto, and stow away some frozen parsley, mint, and lovage (a celery substitute). I also try to process lots of chopped tomatoes for the freezer in recipe-friendly sizes.

But I’m far from a domestic goddess when it comes to preserving the harvest. I’ve also been known to just throw tomatoes in a plastic bag in the chest freezer so I can just plop a few into whatever I’m cooking when the time comes. (Hey, it works.) I’ve never canned anything in my life. We eat about half a jar of (someone else’s) jam a year and eventually I throw the rest away because it looks fuzzy.

We’re not big fans of zucchini bread, so the excess tends to get dropped off at the food pantry … if I remember to take it in time. Sometimes tomatoes rot on the counter. Sometimes the lettuce bolts. Sometimes the lovely soup greens have been hole-punched all over by insects by the time I think to pick them, or the broccoli has bloomed and turned bitter.

Frankly, there can be a lot of waste.

The same thing happens in our national food supply. Producers have food that they can’t sell on time. Expiration dates get close. Farmers get too much of one crop and not enough of another.

That’s where the wonderful organization Feeding America (formerly known as Second Harvest) helps. It funds regional food banks and coordinates with the food industry to take that excess and get it distributed to the food pantries and soup kitchens where people who need help with food can get it. The government also often distributes agricultural excess (a product of our taxpayer-funded crop subsidies) through this same network.

And you’d better believe there are people who could use this food. No, you don’t see children starving to death on the streets in the United States very often. If anything, the food-insecure may tend to put a little extra weight on – there’s something about eating plenty when you can, just in case the refrigerator is empty in a few days and you’re not sure how you’re going to get anything to put in it (assuming you even have access to a working refrigerator).

So we have food pantries and soup kitchens. Is this ideal? No. But it’s reality, especially now, when even people who are working more than 40 hours a week at low-wage jobs can’t afford food AND gas AND rent AND utilities AND medicine all in the same month.

Even those with decent jobs may be only one sudden job loss or serious illness or divorce or legal issue away from financial disaster. Meanwhile, our social safety net is at great risk from politicians (if you’d like to help protect it, see this).

That’s why next week I’ll be announcing a special free promotion for The Awful Mess: A Love Story that’s designed to help raise awareness of hunger (September is Hunger Action Month). I’ll then put all my net book earnings for the rest of the month towards Feeding America via this virtual campaign page.

After that, I’m going to continue to give 10% of all my net earnings from Amazon to Feeding America (Hopefully I’ll be able to keep updating that same page so you can watch month by month; keep in mind that Amazon pays authors a couple of months after each month’s sales close).

I think Bert, Winslow, Mary, Annie, Jeanette, and all the good folks of Lawson would approve. (I happen to know for a fact that they all believe in helping their neighbors.)

Psst... if you want to make sure you don’t miss a major free promotion, contest, giveaway, new title, paperback announcement, etc., make sure you subscribe to my book updates list below left or above left (it depends on which page you came in on).

Escape from the island of the author’s ego

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How do writers keep their perspective?

Because I believe that all writers – all creative people of any kind, really — have egos that are about eight years old and prone to jealousy and heartache. Some just keep theirs better tucked away than others.

And in my experience, ego does not correlate in any way to talent. The least capable fanfic writer I know seldom fails to suggest that whoever he is reviewing got the best thing in his or her story from something he wrote in one of his. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling obviously felt the need to prove she could get a contract and good reviews, if not her usual stellar sales, under a pseudonym. And slurs, real or perceived, have inspired quite a number of famous  literary feuds.

You would think self-publishing has a certain built-in antidote to the author’s ego – after all, I’m putting this stuff out myself. It’s not exactly worth strutting about. I don’t tend to read self-published stuff myself. Why would I expect other people to?

(Because it’s mine, of course. Mine, mine, mine! And I’m brilliant!)

So this little exercise in self-publishing, still in the shakedown cruise, has been a real test of my ability to remain neutral in regard to my own work.

It has also taught me why I must.

Because for every nice comment I’ve gotten from someone, or nice review, or note passed along by a supportive friend, there are also the constant sobering notes which I could interpret as cruel, heartless slaps in the face. When in fact they are simply, you know, reality.

Like when I realize I’m totally boring some people with this stuff.

Or when I do the math and realize that of the many friends who have expressed some interest or even intent to buy, a fair number could not actually have spent the four bucks to do so. In other cases I’ve been surprised by some who haven’t left a review anywhere it would help me. (Let me interrupt here to express my eternal gratitude to those who have.)

On this last matter of missing reviews my eight-year-old ego (okay, five years old) is seriously prone to brooding. Is it because 1) they never began it 2) they never finished it, 3) they didn’t really like it all that much, 4) they think it has issues I won’t want to hear about 5) they think it’s awful, 6) I haven’t asked for it often or specifically enough, 7) they remember liking it but not enough specifics about it to write a review,  8) they have never left a review before and don’t know how, 9) they think it’s ethically dodgy to do, or 10) they just didn’t get around to it?

See what I mean about brooding? (Meanwhile, that last reason I should be able to relate to, because God knows I’m guilty of it myself. I have little good karma built up in this matter.)

There’s only one way to survive this: breathe deeply and let it go.

So I rub my tender ego on the back, say “There, there” in the most soothing way I can (maybe offer it some chocolate), and then turn to the next project for at least as long as it takes to get excited about it. Distraction is our friend.

How about you? If you’re a writer or put yourself out there creatively in other ways, what do you do to keep your perspective?